Friday - YouTube clip of the week

Realistically four white kids playing pick up ball in suburbia with a bizarre Kevin McHale homage deserves to be the clip of the week. But when I came across that clip I could not hold off until Friday, even if it was 6 hours away. Also I felt the need to pursue another injustice, which revolves around Chris Paul. He lit it up at Wake Forest, was ROY last year, is even better in his second season and will haunt the Hawks fan base for years to come. However, lost in the Chris Paul love fest is a little incident that I’m sure Julius Hodge has not forgotten.

I actually have an excerpt from Hodge’s diary circa senior night 2005:

- It was a memorable night:

1. Gave flowers to mom.

2. Got framed jersey.

3. Great applause from fans.

4. Lost to Wake because I wasn’t at full strength. See #5.

5. Cheap shot from Chris Paul.

So if we're going to be all over Hodge's Nuggets teammate Reggie Evans, Paul deserves some heat as well. By the way I always enjoy how YouTube groups similar videos together. That's why in the midst of my research for this post I came across an incident that made Paul's low blow pale in comparison while vindicating my decision to avoid Uruguay at all costs. Two final points about the clip:

1. The shirt-waving scene is epic.

2. As the clip closes is the anchor on the right fighting off laughter? If so, that’s cold.

No love for McHale?

You can mock Kevin’s McHale’s dress code and skills as a GM, or lack thereof, as much as you want. I’m not offended. However, let’s not forget his playing career. Tonight on the TNT halftime show Charles Barkley went as far to say, “Kevin McHale is the best player I ever played against.” This of course got me all fired up and I went to YouTube to watch some sick McHale pivots. I could watch #32 in the post all day. Unfortunately the search “Kevin McHale” yielded only 4 clips. There was a crappy highlight compilation of various players, a certain hook shot from 1987 that I refuse to post, and 10 seconds of the man himself. And then this happened. A few basic points:

1. We need this to spread like herpes (I’m tired of the wildfire analogy) so that we get a new catch phrase, “I gotta party and stuff.”

2. The kid who utters the party line looks at his wrist to check the time. The video quality is such that it’s hard to tell, but I do not believe that he is wearing a watch.

3. Robert Bickerstaff (McHale) wears a shirt with #55 on the back and #15 on the front. As I noted earlier, McHale wore #32.

4. Every time Bickerstaff shoots they cut to a ball going in the basket without showing how it got there. That’s understandable. But I’m not sure how I feel about a few of the shots where the ball entered the basket from an angle that was drastically different from where he shot it.

5. I enjoyed the fake dunk.

Overall this clip borders on the surreal. It has some cult potential. It also could be a cautionary tale that would be effective as the centerpiece of interventions. And yes this is not the first time I have posted the McHale/Rambis picture. Nor is it the last time.

Things I can't make up

From Boston Celtics' dancer Emily's diary:

"Which brings me back to our booty-shaking practice. Marina breaks it down for us. Legs apart, bend your knees deeply, both hands on your right hip, and pop it, pop it, hit, end. She has two girls, who obviously have a bit more rhythm than me, demonstrate. I see the rest of the girls try it. They don't look half bad, so I decide to give it a go. Legs apart, check. Knees bent deeply, check. Both hands on my right hip, got it. Then I attempt the booty pop. But wait; there was movement, but no pop. So I try it again. Yep, plenty of movement, but absolutely no pop."

1. This diary is a comedic goldmine.

2. The whole NBA dance team experience in general is a book that's waiting to be written and a movie that's begging to be made.

3. I'm still against the dance team. However, I'm not making threats.

Regrets

My top five regrets in life:

5. Never beating Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although I haven't quite given up on this one.

4. Not being able to dunk.

3. Not being able to grow a ridiculous mustache, though I've done my best with a few beards.

2. My college football career. I won’t delve into that. I should note that never winning a college intramural basketball championship almost cracks the top 5. And it's closer than you think.

1. Turning down tickets for a Pats manhandling of the Bucs in 2005, which was followed by an epic night of drinking with the guys who went. It's a complicated story but I landed in the whipped Hall of Fame...and deserved it.

That’s a tough list. Obviously I’ll never grow an awesome mustache and I’m not getting out of the whipped Hall of Fame. I don’t own a Nintendo but I will beat Tyson, even if I couldn’t do it in my video game playing prime (at this point I might be Barkley hoping to win a ring with the Rockets). And last time I checked college is over for me. However, True Hoop has shown me the light. If I can ever dunk with my WNBA knees (long story) it will all be downhill from there. And I won’t care.

Is Pierce a loser?

Last night on NESN Jackie MacMullan said that some players around the league don’t respect Paul Pierce because he took the money from a mediocre team and seems content with losing. Never mind that this flies in the face of how The Truth plays the game. He is not the Boston Vince Carter. We can debate whether Pierce can lead a team all the way. But I’m confident that he’s trying his best to win. Otherwise he wouldn’t invite the type of abuse he takes on a nightly basis. More importantly what players are saying this? Generally speaking I don’t question guys from Oakland who survive brutal stabbings. But that’s just me.

It’s important to note that I’m not implying that MacMullan is lying. And if she is, I'm not mad. How could I be upset with the reporter who taught me that BC standout Jared Dudley weighed 230 pounds…when he was 12?

Just say no to Larry.

With every passing day the anti Doc campaign gains steam with speculation about when he’ll go and who will replace him. That is the nature of the rumor mill. And you can say whatever you want as long as we can agree on one thing: Larry Brown can not coach the C’s. Consider the following:

1. Brown seriously hampered the Piston’s repeat attempts. The franchise has never fully recovered. Although Flip Saunders was officially exposed, which was good for everybody. Somewhere Garnett is smiling.

2. After the aforementioned sabotage of the Pistons Brown couldn’t even leave with dignity. He had to squeeze a few extra dollars out of the organization.

3. Following his separation from the Pistons Brown parlayed his newly found freedom into a massive deal with the Knicks, which apparently was his dream job.

4. The Brown led Knicks posted an abysmal 23-59 mark. In the process he was Larry Brown at his worst – sticking with washed up veterans, burying promising youngsters, throwing his guys under the bus, taking shots at management, and allegedly holding unauthorized trade talks. In his defense Brown did not assemble the roster. However, he did agree to coach it.

5. He’s not getting any younger (66).

6. Let’s face it the Knicks were not a good team but they weren’t that bad. As Jalen Rose put it, “I put together our roster on "NBA Live" and we're pretty good.”

7. I do agree with Brown's approach to defense. However, at some point you have to set a rotation and realize that the roster isn't changing drastically. There’s something to be said for adapting to your personnel rather than trying to force a system that’s doomed to failure.

8. As the off-season began Brown made logical people wonder, “Is he trying to get fired?” You just can’t cut 5 to 6 guys off NBA rosters. It doesn’t happen.

9. Brown redefines whiney at times.

10. Of course the Knicks fired Brown and the Hall of Fame coach eventually walked away with an $18 million settlement. Mark Berman’s account of how it all went down is damning for 2 reasons:

- “Brown asked for $53.5 million in the hearing - an additional $12.5 million beyond the $41 million for ‘liquidated damages’ and attorney's fees.” If he cared at all last year this would not bother me.

- “Brown confidants say he will coach again, possibly for his buddy Michael Jordan in Charlotte.” While this is not coming directly from Brown he often communicates through the media or his friends. I’d like to think he is not lobbying for a job that is currently filled, a major coaching faux pas. I’d like to think.

In conclusion let Brown bring his turmoil to some other organization. The Celtics have enough already.

An outsider's assessment

Royce Webb does his best to put the C's win in perspective while critiquing Doc and Ainge as well. And I can't argue with him.

"OK, so the Celtics finally got a win . . . in OT . . . vs. the Bobcats . . . in Boston. Don't start sewing that 17th banner yet.

But did Boston coach Doc Rivers really deserve his first W? Somehow, on a roster that's supposedly too crowded with good players, he found 30 minutes to give to Tony Allen and Brian Scalabrine , who combined for -- get this -- five points, one rebound, no assists, four turnovers and seven fouls. They're like the guys no one wants to pass to in a pickup game.

Give Delonte West props, though, for sticking it out and sticking that J at the final horn. He's endured any number of injuries, not to mention the whims of Rivers and Celtics president Danny Ainge, who keep replacing him and benching him and moving him from spot to spot.

Hey guys, make up your mind. Indecision 2006 is hilarious on "The Daily Show," but not for the league's most storied franchise."

Catch the rest of the Daily Dime over on ESPN.

C's/Bobcats - 11/8/06

A few observations

I was in a bar for the fourth quarter and someone changed the channel to Dog the Bounty Hunter. Sometimes the type of people who watch Dog the Bounty Hunter in bars are not the type of people you want to engage in a conversation about your desire to change the channel. Thankfully there were two televisions. That was close.

It’s a little know fact Emeka Okafor plays for the Bobcats and Celtics Bandwagon – my fantasy squad. I’m too much of a Celtics fan to enjoy Emeka’s 28 and 18 if the Bobcats were to win. So I’m pretty satisfied to see it worked out.

Rajon Rondo’s DNP (coach’s decision) falls into the old, “I did not see that coming” realm.

It looks like Ratliff can help. I’m guilty of underestimating what a veteran presence can bring. That said he did seem exhausted at times.

It was interesting to see Gerald get some burn. But I was more intrigued by Delonte’s role as the back up point guard.

Delonte Quotes

“Exactly what you seen, that’s exactly what was called.” – Delonte West responding to Greg Dickerson asking what play was called at the end of the game.

“When we execute we can play with anyone. We can win games.” Delonte West getting caught up in the moment after the first win of the season.

Doc critique of the night

"The Knicks just blew a 19-point lead and got the ball back with 16 seconds left in a tie game. Isiah calls a timeout, presumably to call a play. What do they do? Inbound it to Crawford. Everyone else goes under the basket and watches Jamal dribble until there are six seconds left and he pulls up for a crazy 3-pointer.” - A portion of a random e-mail to Bill Simmons that describes a scenario, minus the 19 point lead, eerily similar to the end of regulation in Boston tonight. Before it’s all said and done Doc and Isiah may put a new, negative spin on an old coaching axiom. The new axiom?

“He can lose to yours with his and lose to his with yours.”

Around the NBA

- The best part about Vince Carter selling out Jason Kidd in the new fantasy basketball commercial is that it definitely could happen. If they were going for believability Carter was a good choice. However, if they were hoping to show the conflict between real life and fantasy teams they had to choose Richard Jefferson as Kidd’s co star.

- “He's the ugliest productive player I've ever been around.” – Greg Poppovich on Fabricio Oberto. If you haven’t seen Oberto and his game yet trust me, it makes sense either way.

- I’m not sure I want a league where guys can’t slam basketballs and catch them at waist level after bad calls. That’s a victimless crime.

- “No you’re the one who’s under the influence…of being a jerk.” – Eric Musselman’s possible last words to Ron Artest. It’s important to note that I stole that line from Chief Wiggum and I made up that scenario all together.

Another problem in losing Big Al...

Mike Gorman just uttered the words, "And that's going to bring Brian Scalabrine into the game."

Mismatch, mismatch!

I went to a Junior/Senior High School that, as the name would suggest, was grades 7-12. When I was in seventh grade future UNH great/Chicago Bears cornerback Jerry Azumah
was a senior. As one can imagine the man who would go on to win the Walter Payton Award in college was one hell of an athlete. He was fast, strong, could do a back flip, and legend has it he once jumped out of the broad jump pit at a track meet even though it was not his event. This is important because I felt the need to namedrop. Furthermore, I was in a pick up basketball game once in which the ages and skill level varied greatly. On three consecutive trips down the court I somehow drew the short stick and ended up guarding Azumah. Each time he yelled, “Mismatch, mismatch!” He then received the ball and dunked on me. I have a point here. If the Bobcats are going to guard Pierce with Felton or Knight the C’s should run one play: post up Pierce.

Snake Bitten?

Say it ain’t so Big Al. If you haven’t heard yet Jefferson will miss at least a month after having his appendix removed earlier today. Whatever your stance on Al you have to admit this is not what he or the team needed. We’re one Theo relapse away from being a very small team. You can only play Perkins and the Kandi Man so much. As a side note there’s a good chance that someone within the Celtics organization probably thought “Quit being a bitch Al, it’s a stomach ache.”

Final thoughts before tip off:

- Bob Cousy is back again, despite the fact that it seems to make him miserable. And yet he’s preaching patience.

- Emeka Okafor has been a revelation on my fantasy squad this year. He’s blocking shots like a beast while scoring and rebounding well. If Perk gets in foul trouble (very plausible) and the C’s limit Ratliff’s minutes (the smart thing to do) it could get ugly down low. That said I feel good about Jake Voskhul starting for them.

- “It would be nice…I don’t believe in must wins unless it’s a game 7” – Doc on winning tonight. That’s how to build a culture of winning.

Giving back

My favorite part of Carmelo Anthony’s recent donation to Syracuse? It has to be Carmelo gushing about his former school, "The six months I was there I had a great time.” Six months? Even if you factor in breaks it’s pretty clear why Carmelo is not putting a new wing on the library. I kid, I kid. Well done Carmelo.

Why the Celtics need a win

I’m afraid to go to Celtics Blog if the C’s fall to 0-4. It’s safe to say the hardcore fans will feel like this.

Welcome Theo

As the C's head into tonight's game against the Bobcats Doc Rivers, the Boston Herald, and the Boston Globe are all pushing the importance of Theo Ratliff’s pending return and the positive impact it could have on team defense. Even after watching Zydrunas Ilgauskas abuse Ratliff in the pre season I’m willing to admit that the former Piston/Sixer/Hawk/Trailblazer can help. Or maybe I’m just hoping that he can help. However, as Bill Parcells says, “You are what you are.” Ratliff is a thirty-three year old big man with a bad back. So it’s a problem if the entire defensive scheme revolves around him.

The Takeover

Saturday night Gilbert Arenas was introduced at the Wizards home opener wearing a boxing robe. Given that the Celtics were the opponent and #0 proceeded to drop 44 points that night, it’s only now that I’m able to put it in the blog. I'm not pleased with his dominance of the C's or the outcome of the game, but I had to mention it. This is all part of Arenas’ master plan for the season, which he calls The Takeover.

What is The Takeover? It is “just about everything. From taking over the city, I’m trying to take over the league, taking over sponsors, taking over you know … Just the industry of everything … Getting buildings in my name, getting leagues in my name … This is the time where, you know, me as a person is gonna go get bigger.” – Gilbert Arenas

I am not sure what half of that means.

Also, don't be surprised that Arenas did not mention the Etan Thomas/Brendan Haywood fight on his blog. Yes it featured punches, a body slam and ripped out dreadlocks. However the Wizards organization went out of its way to protect Arenas as he attempted to avoid a paternity related court summons last season. Gilbert strikes me as a loyal guy.

Tuesday - Old School NBA Moment

Prior to the 1992-1993 season the Knicks’ marketing department was kicking around campaigns for the upcoming season. They approached Pat Riley. “The first artwork they had me look at was looking down on a basketball court. There was a hoop, and inside the foul circle was a chalk outline of a dead person. I said I didn’t know if I wanted to go that far.” – Pat Riley in The Jordan Rules.

Some would say the Knicks did take it that far. And that it wasn't until last spring that the NBA put an exciting, fan pleasing product on the floor. It's an interesting debate.

Give 'em hell Dave

With the passing of Red, the addition of the Celtics dancers and the 0-3 start to the season, we were in need of some good news. To that end I am excited that Dave Cowens is losing his cool on a NBA sideline instead of coaching in the WNBA.

C's/Wizards - 11/4/06

I will keep this short:

1. I feel somewhat guilty about my recent focus on Gilbert Arenas as he took it upon himself to torch the C’s tonight.

2. The Celtics are the kings of giving up large, uninterrupted scoring runs.

3. After briefly checking out the comments over on Celtics Blog I’d say the hardcore fans are not doing well. One guy spoke well of Blount. This would be much easier if I could rationally discuss this team.

Is Doc in trouble?

In the past 6 years the Patriots have won 3 Super Bowls and the Red Sox broke through as World Series champions. This once in a lifetime string of success has not made me arrogant as if the local teams’ victories somehow correlate to my value as a person or the weight of my opinions (see FSN personalities). Rather I’m like Peter from Office Space after he was hypnotized. I’m just along for the ride and in the process I’ve approached an unflappable state. That’s not to say I like to see the Patriots lose to Denver in the postseason, the Yankees sweep the Red Sox or the Celtics stumble out of the gate this year without a rotation or an understanding of defense. I still follow the teams, get into the games and have concerns about the state of each organization. But I’m more likely to compare the Celtics players to Nintendo characters than to lose sleep over their start. Having said all that I’m a little concerned by the Truth’s recent comments following the loss to the Pistons,

“You know it’s just hard for me to see right now. There are so many guys in their second and third years. It’s hard to see who’s really going to be the core. I don’t know if we can sign eight or nine of the young players. Right now we’re trying to figure that out. We’re trying to see who steps up. Probably by the end of the year you’re going to find that out.”- Paul Pierce

And to a certain extent he’s right. The Celtics have to figure out who their core is and somehow get them to perform. Unfortunately development does not occur over night and you can’t force it to happen. The C’s need only to look at their most recent opponent to see three guys – Rip Hamilton, Chauncey Billups and to a degree Rasheed Wallace – who got it after a combined 10 teams (I did not count Sheed’s one game in Atlanta) gave up on them. Outside of making a trade to bring in a veteran and clear up some of the log jam for minutes there is really only one area the C’s can improve quickly: coaching. I’m sensing this is going to be a common cry on Celtics blogs, message boards and perhaps even the mainstream media over the next few weeks. It should be interesting.

Heavy is the head that used to wear the crown?

The historian Lord Acton once said, “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Based on Mark Murphy’s recent Celtics Notebook it looks like Rasheed Wallace agrees. By now it’s common knowledge that Sheed was ejected from the Pistons opener, which according to the mighty MJD put him on pace for 164 technical fouls. I say this because someone just traded for him in my fantasy league. But back to Lord Acton. Prior to last night’s game Detroit’s remaining Wallace echoed the long dead historian’s sentiments:

“In my opinion it’s (expletive). It’s just giving (the refs) more power than they can handle.” – Rasheed Wallace

“If you already got a beef with a ref, then you have to watch out. And with me, that means about 90 percent of them. It’s (expletive). You ain’t really got to say nothing or do nothing. If they come in with an attitude, then you are (expletive).” - Rasheed Wallace

Rasheed’s frustration over the new stricter rule was somewhat validated by The Truth’s assessment of the aforementioned ejection, “Wow, that was low-keyed for him.” – Paul Pierce

Hopefully the refs are taking a hard line initially that will help change behavior (it was getting out of hand) and then settle into a place where they are not determining the outcome of games. Of course the whole issue has been an amazing smoke screen for the fact that the refs are not that good. But that’s another post. It is worth noting that the former champs may have actually lost both Wallaces – Ben to free agency and Rasheed to technical fouls.