Celtics Roster: Pierce through West

Paul Pierce: Guard/Forward, #34 - I have a pretty in depth look at Pierce's career coming out Wednesday. So in the meantime let’s just reflect on the awesomeness that is Shaq giving him the nickname “The Truth.” That’s right up there with 4 straight 2000-point seasons in my book.

Kevin Pittsnoggle: Center, #51 - In August the Boston Globe reported that Pittsnogle received some “walking around money” from the Celtics for the summer. The amount? $50,000. I love the NBA. As a side note “walking around money” fits well with my aforementioned groupie plans. Pittsnogle is either regretting getting married in college or he’s very…um…let’s just move on.

Leon Powe: Foward, #0 - According to Aran Smith of nbadraft.net, Powe entered Cal as one of the top 5 prospects in the country. He’s considered a warrior with a big heart. Additionally Smith has only had two major reconstructive knee surgeries and not three, which I originally thought. Sweet. You see what I did there? Research and sarcasm.

After making that joke I came across a bunch of articles like this one from Boston Celtics blog:
Leon Powe Does Not Mess Around

I didn’t scrap the joke but I’m rooting for Powe. And at least his money is guaranteed. How about the other stories getting the most play over the last month or so?

5. Ratliff is going to mentor Big Al and Perk.
4. Big Al and Perk will be ready for training camp.
3. Wally’s knee will be fine/Wally's knee will not be fine
2. Rondo takes a million shots a day.
1. Telfair is happy to be a Celtic and ready for a fresh start

Theo Ratlif: Forward/Center, #50 - Positives: Quickness, athleticism, leaping, shot blocking.

Negatives: Takes forever to come back from lingering injuries (thankfully he’s on a team the Boston media doesn’t really care about), not a big scorer.

Analysis: In the words of Bill Parcells, “You are what you are.” Ratliff will be limited on offense, play some good defense and not appear in all 82 games.

Allan Ray: Guard, #12 - Positives: stellar college career, showed toughness last spring by fighting through an eye injury from the Big East tournament, could develop into a scoring role player.

The negatives: Was not drafted, some concern that his size and strength, or lack thereof, will make him a liability, going to cause a great deal of confusion amongst middle aged people based solely on the fact that his name is the inverse, at least when spoken, of an accomplished superstar.

Analysis: Sometimes I wonder if, as the Boston Celtics GM, it’s better to role the dice with a Big East guy. If he does not work out emotional ties will mute some of the criticism. Of course this theory is moot with high draft picks, marquee free agents and if one of Leo Papile’s guys needs some “walking around money.”

Rajon Rondo: Point Guard, #9 Danny Ainge, scouts, your mom, everyone raves about this guy. Apparently he had some great workouts and tore it up in the summer league. On the flip side he may or may not be able to shoot. So I’ll get back to you once I get that figured out.

Brian Scalabrine: Power Forward, #44 - Epic backhanded compliment by the announcer at the end of the following clip. In fact it’s not even a compliment. Pretty much sums up the Brian Scalabrine era for me: Scalabrine to Vince. Also, is it just me or is that dunk not as impressive as Vince or the announcers would have you believe? I mean it's not this. By the way, throwing an ally oop off the backboard is similar to someone scoring 81 points against a team I'm playing on. I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm just saying I will either foul out or get ejected. But that's just me.

Wally Szczerbiak: Guard/Forward, #55 - I would feel a lot better if Wally was as good as he thinks he is. Also it takes a year to come back from knee surgery. So the jury is still out. On a personal note Wally seems destined to be the kind of guy who says all the right things and yet I inexplicably don’t like him. I am convinced he could have been the most hated college intramural basketball player of all time. Alas, he was good enough to make it.

Sebastian Telfair: Point Guard, #30 - The cynical part of me points to his height, weak jump shot, and weapons arrest. Furthermore, one would think the youngest team in the league in 2005/2006 would be looking for a little more experience. Having said all that I am excited for the Sebastian Telfair era. I’m even going to watch “Through the Fire". Hopefully it explains when girls began trying to have Telfair's baby. I'm guessing well before the shoe contract. "Don't worry I'm on the pill..."

Delonte West: Guard, #13 - Delonte West is a basketball player. His hustle and basketball IQ make him the only guy on the roster who can challenge Pierce for the lead in Tommy Points. Although Heinsohn LOVES Pierce to the point that it makes me uncomfortable. But back to West. His value is clearer than the other young guys. He just needs to stay healthy. So it’s disheartening to learn that his lower back is causing problems as camp approaches. I'm going to treat his back like Al's ankle, Wally's knee, Ratlif's body, Rondo's shot, Gerald's defense, Pierce's elbow, Kendrick's shoulder, the Telfair experience, Scalabrine's physical conditioning/game and every other question mark on this team. Wait and see.